30 Lessons...30 Years
Ringing in my 30th birthday at the Panorama Room in New York City
Here it is… my 30th birthday! Most days I feel somewhere between the bright-eyed 17-year-old version of myself mixed with a 75-year-old version who likes fuzzy blankets, travel sized bottles of ibu-profen and buckets of retinol. I will say, year 30 is by far my happiest and most confident year-to-date. This happiness and confidence has definitely come at a price and I decided to share some lessons I picked up along the way. Many of these gems aren’t original as I’ve been blessed to cross paths with seasoned women who put me on game along the way. Did I always listen? No, of course not! I had to bump my head, fall again, and finally learn from the bruises of repeated mistakes. So, without further ado…I present: “30 Lessons…30 Years”
He’s just not that into you, & if he was…he wouldn’t give you reason to question it
People like what they know…they don’t know what they like. Explore new things so you’re not a mindless zombie who follows the crowd or only likes what’s within a 5 mile radius of home.
Men lie, women lie, actions don’t. Select the people in your inner circle by their consistent actions not solely off of what they say.
Learn to say “No” early in life without making up excuses or being guilted or pressured into doing things you don’t want to do. People will learn to respect your time, decisiveness and boundaries.
No matter how much you do or try, you’ll never be the “perfect” match for the wrong person. Don’t attempt to force a round peg to fit in a square hole.
If you walk away from high school and college with 2 lifetime friends you’re doing a lot better than the popular kid with hundreds of associates/drinking partners. Quality over quantity is key!
Take the sick days when you’re feeling sick. You won’t get a star sticker on your forehead for working while sick.
Don’t place unrealistic timelines on yourself. We all expected to be millionaire married parents by 25 when we were in high school…kudos to the one unicorn that accomplished it.
Address past hurts before taking milestone leaps in life. You owe this to yourself, your family, future spouse, and children
Journal for at least 90 days straight, one day you’ll need to recount that self-reflection. You’ll be proud of your growth.
Discover what makes you happy outside of other people & “hobbies” that are really chores, maintenance or necessities
Commit to a cause bigger than yourself.
Invest time, money and regular effort in your mental & physical health. Eat better, sleep 8+ hours, workout, pray, journal, repeat.
Set a schedule to regularly call family members- No one is ever that busy not to. I’ve been to one too many funerals in the last 5 years that validates this lesson.
Moisturize & use some sort of SPF every day/ every season. Find a nightly moisturizing regimen (men & women). You’ll thank me later when you notice your peers starting to visibly age like milk in the sun.
Don’t rush to be in serious relationships. Enjoy your teens and early 20’s. You’re still learning who you are and growing into your best self. It’s better to get into a serious relationship once you have a better grip on who you are as an individual.
Forgive & let go of resentment, this benefits you more than you’ll ever realize
Create a written goal list every year. Update each month
Show yourself mercy
Thank God audibly everyday for the little things
Pray incessantly…about the big things, the small things, the mundane and most importantly to give THANKS
Think & plan for retirement as soon as possible
Learn about investments & put your money where your mouth is
Spend money on experiences that will create lifelong memories. When you’re on your death bed the memories will still be with you. Like the wise old folks say, “You’ll never see a UHaul truck tailing a hearse.”
Failing to prepare is preparing to fail…Every one of those sayings your teachers put on your middle school & high school classroom walls is true…the real life meanings pop you in the face
unexpectedly throughout life
Pray for your future spouse and kids
Connect with a mentor, pastor, counselor…someone to be a confidante that you’re not romantically connected to
Evaluate your inner circle. Surround yourself with like-minded people and people doing better than you. Wise man once said “your net worth is a reflection of your network”
Give your mom her flowers…she was always right about every guy she told you not to date. Idk why, God just equips them with that superpower.
Give that person outside of “your type” a chance, they just might be the love of your life ;)