Discovering Myself: How Moving Away From Home Changed My Life

Image by: Shabreon Starks @too_shay11

I moved to D.C. a little over a year ago as a wide eyed 24-year-old who gained a lot of my identity from my relation to other people - the loving daughter, funny sister, doting girlfriend, outgoing friend, selfless confidante, and the source of social media inspiration to many-supposedly. What everyone didn't know, with exception to a solid 3 confidantes and my sister naturally, is that this young woman who wore many hats had a serious case of imposter syndrome. I was living in a false reality where I made constant decisions simply based on the approval and happiness of others. I was having an out of body experience, watching myself star in a movie, directed by others spiraling into an abyss of people pleasing.

This sad reality movie was being produced and shot in my comfort zone and ironically "the Hollywood of the South," Atlanta, GA. Now it has taken me almost a solid lifetime to realize nothing just happens and there's a purpose for everything, but I can truly say my move to DC changed my life. When I moved away from my comfort zone, all I knew and everyone I knew I was forced to come to grips with who Charis really was. I wasn't no one's baby girl, "Reesie," homecoming queen, sorority girl, high school most likely to succeed, or any other title I had attached to my name back at home. In the short matter of time I've been away I've learned more first hand about God, love, friendships and how the lack of any of the above can be spiritually fatal.

I'm sensitive to seeing the purpose in every step I take, person I encounter, and mistake I make. Now don't take this the wrong way and think that moving away will solve all issues and that you should run away from your problems. That is not what I'm saying at all! What I am saying is that ripping me away from all my false sources of identities forced me to recognize who the raw me was. In my teens you could not convince me that by 26 I wouldn't be happily married with a couple kids and an awesome career (let's all laugh together now millennials). Instead I'm walking back to my apartment at 10pm after a full day of work and a night class typing these thoughts into the notes of my iPhone. But guess what? This moment in time was predestined for my life and is preparation for God's greater purpose and will for me.

I've made it a habit to listen to inspirational podcasts every morning while I'm getting ready for work because I'm a firm believer in setting the tone for my day. One of my favorite podcasts is by Joel Osteen on God's perfect timing. He talks about how sometimes we compare ourselves to others when we all are going through different seasons. An orange tree doesn't compare itself to apple trees because they both are at their peeks at different seasons, they both require different environments to produce fruit, and they understand that they both have unique processes. My God! I love how simple concepts slap me in the face! I'm continually telling my friends and my homie in the mirror to "Trust the Process." That bump in the road prepares you for the mole hill ahead and mountain further along in your journey. Be grateful God hasn't given you what you desire prematurely. You can't appreciate something you aren't prepared to handle just yet.

It's one thing for everyone to tell you something, but it's another to truly realize it yourself. I constantly tell my closest confidantes that I would be so grateful to one day see myself the way those who love me see me. I by no means have it all figured out, but I'm happy to feel like I'm on the right path. Moving to D.C. made me feel like I was starting on a clean, fresh, new slate on life. I did my best to put my insecurities behind me and take time to discover and love myself void of any titles, expectations or roles I play in others lives. I came to a point where I felt like it was do or die as far as loving me and making the best decisions for me and only me. 

 I'm standing on my own, tall and confident no matter who's standing with me. Mandating that any candidates for occupying the space next to me in life prove their worthiness. So even if it's just for today, trouble is but a bubble in this champagne glass. Cheers to growth! Cheers to trusting the process! Cheers to my 26th trip around the sun! Cheers to Charis' Life, Love & Lessons Learned!

 I'm happy you've decided to come along for the ride

 -Reesie